What you can't have

Why is it that we always want what we can't have. I have become absolutely obessed with having a daughter. There is no reason for it. I can hardly keep my head together with the 3 kids I've already got. Plus, we're only 2 years away from all the kids being in school so we can work more hours and maybe not just make it anymore. Plus, our house is already filled to the brim. There is definately no room for a crib, changing table, or Barbie Dream Home. Most importantly, my husband had a vasectomy almost 4 years ago - while we were in the throws of 3 children under 4.

I guess I wonder what kind of mom I'd be to a girl - what kind of father my husband would be. At church on Wednesday he was chatting with one of the little girls (I will have to say, she is probably the cutest 4 year old I have ever seen), and she stood up and did a little twirl for him. My heart just broke. I know it's dumb, but what are you going to do. I guess I'll just hold all that love in until my 3 boys produce some granddaughters - they will be granddaughters, right God?

Jacqui